Grand Finale!

Well, this will be my final Katimavik newsletter. I'm heading back home tomorrow! My first flight departs from Chisasibi on August 18 at 14:35 and arrives in Montreal at 18:35. Then I take an express bus to Gared’autocar de Montreal, where I travel with Coach Canada, departing from Montreal at 00:15, August 19, and arrive in Kingston at 3:25. Then I depart from Kingston at 3:45 and arrive in Toronto at 6:20. I then switch to Greyhound and leave Toronto at 7:00 and arrive in
Guelph at 8:15.

A lot of people are being sent home by bus, not just in my group but throughout the cluster. It's the first time they've done it to any of us. I think it's because now that we're done with the program, they don't care about us. Or, Grandma has offered that they aren't concerned with taking time out of the program, now that we're done.

In the last couple weeks, we managed to fit in some cool stuff. This will probably be my craziest post. Don't worry, though. You just go with the flow, and when the flow is sane, you get sane. When the going gets crazy... you get a little crazy. I'll be okay when I get back. Promise.

There's this Native ritual, where they all go into a small, tent-like structure with hot coals at the centre that they throw water on, called a "sweat". A group back on Prince Edward Island did it, and the girl I spoke to told me that of their eight members, only two made it to the end. She also told me that it's like "A taste of Hell". We came to this Cree village, and out Project Leader said that of her first
group of eleven, only two made it to the end, and she wasn't one of them. She said that it was like "A trip to Hell."

Well, we just did it. And guess what? Of our nine, seven made it to the end. And I'm one of them, baby!

Before going in, I talked to a man outside about why they do the sweats. See, there are four aspects of the human: the body, the mind, the emotional, and the spirit. You need to feed each aspect of the human to be healthy, and a sweat is food for the spirit.

While I was in there, and beginning to panic, his words came to me. I thought, "If I'm in pain, that's the body, so forget that. If I'm scared, that's the emotional, so forget that. If I worry I'm losing my mind, that's the mind, so forget that."

So, if you take away all those aspects, what do you have left?

You have your spirit. If you can find your spirit, which is being nourished, it will not be a painful experience for you.

It's pitch black in there. The people who go in all have the aspect of warriors about them. But in the sweat, all of your internal sufferiengs and miseries are brought to the surface and let out. Grown men weep in there all the time. And because of the darkness, it is completely anonymous.

They chant, they drum, and people scream and cry. Their emotional outlet is a contribution to the song. The person I sat next to for the first three rounds wept the loudest. We were all squashed together so tight, I felt his convulsions and his breath.

It's like, when you drink alcohol, you feel warm inside, but that's really because your core body heat is moving to your nerves as it leaves your body. It's the same way for your inner sufferings in the sweat. You feel them more acidically, but only because they're moving out, toward the more sensitive part of your being, as they leave you.

I felt great! I could see myself doing that kind of thing again!

I want to do the more intense version, where you fast for four days, and then have piercings ripped out of your shoulders, back, and nipples, while doing a sweat!

I also want to get in on the chanting, but I don't know Cree and I can't hit their pitches... When everyone got excited at one point, roaring and hooting like mad, I threw in a roar. I wasn't comfortable doing much more than that, though.

When we first went in there, our fire-master introduced himself by his spirit name "Too Hard Bear."

TOO HARD BEAR! Is that really the guy you want to lead you to Hell?

It was held on the site they do the Sun Dance every year, and they tried to summon the spirit of a 14-year-old girl who comitted suicide three years ago, but who's spirit never moved on, and tried to put her to rest.

Turns out, not only I, but two other people in the group felt really cold twice during the sweat. And some of the Natives saw the ghost of the girl... Maybe we sensed it's presence?

We had a Shaking Tent Ceremony, where you summon the spirits of the ancestors, and learn all kinds of cool stuff. It's powerful, too. There's a small, one-person-sized tent at the centre of a giant teepee, and an elder goes in there and acts as a medium for the spirits. They warned us not to go inside the spirit tent, because if
you do, THE SPIRITS CAN KILL YOU! There was some negative interference, and it beat the tar out of the elder inside. It might be because the ceremony was botched and it upset the spirits and also, apparently there were Northern Lights something fierce, which is considered dangerous around here. The elder had to fight off the evil presence while answering our questions. I... don't think we got real answers. I think he needed to give us answers, but he wasn't really picking up on anything because of the interference.

Because I refuse to believe that my spirit name is "Fox-Man"! I am not going to introduce myself to the spirits as "Fox-Man"!

We met this guy who's lived out in the woods for eleven years, has an epic beard, and raises wolves. He looked at my beard, shouted "MY BROTHER!" and hugged me. He taught us how to harvest mushrooms. At the end of the day he gave me a magic staff. He'll shelter and feed anyone for a month, and if you want, you don't have to do anything. It can be like a vacation, or it can be like a work experience. And he offered to help me get a job in Chisasibi if I stayed.

You guys came THIS close to losing me to Epic Beard Man. I love that guy so much, I baked him a loaf of bread and volunteered to wash his dishes. My PL convinced me that I should get my life in order and wait until I have something confirmed for my future and have some leeway time. Apparently, he's got connections with all the truckers across Canada, and will provide free transportation via truckers to get to
his place.

In Katimavik, I have played one video game, read three books, and watched 39 movies! Maybe not something to brag about...